How can I encourage my child?

Keys to building up your children

3 min

The young child’s lower lip protruded as she tried not to cry at her mother’s loud, sharp “NO!” The teenager shrugged his shoulders and shuffled from the room after seeing his father’s stern, disapproving look at his rumpled appearance. 

You love your children! You want them to be the best person possible and to bring glory to God. But sometimes your children’s actions, decisions, or even mannerisms can be so exasperating! How can you encourage your children in a way that will build them up and also please the Lord? 

Show Them Unconditional Love

“Receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God” (Romans 15:7). As parents, it is important that we accept our children as God has accepted them. As we do so, we allow Him to love them through us. At times, each one of us is unlovable. But God still loves us unconditionally. God’s encompassing love for us is our example for loving our children unconditionally.

Consider the moments or situations in which you can show your children unconditional love. How might you temper your response before responding?

Praise and Bless Them

Praise generates an atmosphere of love, joy, and acceptance. Every person longs to hear words of praise and affirmation, and children greatly desire the praise of their parents! They naturally want to please them and have their acceptance. Mom and Dad should be their child’s biggest fans and encouragers!

Take a moment and determine what character qualities your children are developing. When did you last compliment your children regarding these qualities? What questions might you ask them in order to help them in their endeavors? What can you praise them for? 

Listen to Gain Understanding

We can learn to understand our children by listening to them. It is important that when they talk to us, we give them our undivided attention. We want our children to be able to share their hearts without fearing that we will judge or condemn them. Effective parenting requires good listening skills, which will produce greater understanding. Attentive listening encourages our children. As they see that we make time for them and want to hear what they have to say, they will more readily open up to us regarding other areas important to them.

Effective parenting requires good listening skills, which will produce greater understanding.

Do you know what is involved in active listening? What questions might you ask your children that show you are trying to understand what they are sharing? When was the last time you stopped and gave them eye contact when they were telling you something obviously important to them?

Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

Parents must guard against having unrealistic expectations for their children. Do your children feel that you expect them to be perfect in every area? Such expectations are often discouraging. As parents, we are to yield our personal rights and expectations to God, even those of raising perfect children for Him. We need to constantly be reminded that we are all on a journey, moving forward one step at a time. We can encourage our children by gently guiding and instructing them to do right, while avoiding the undue pressure of making it seem overwhelming or impossible to them.

What unrealistic expectations do you have of your children? Have you given these expectations to your Heavenly Father? Do you sense that your children have a freedom to share not only their successes but also their failures with you? How might you communicate your desire to encourage them in their endeavors?

Have Fun Together!

When children get together with their friends, they have a good time. If we want our family members to be best friends, we need to provide opportunities for them to interact and enjoy each other. The options are limitless. For example, you can read books aloud, play games, bake together, or go on walks or trips to the park. The children may take turns choosing from their favorite activities, and then the whole family can enjoy doing that activity together. Having fun together as a family encourages our children’s hearts!

Think back: When was your family’s last outing? What was the attitude among the family members? What was your attitude? How might you arrange regular times of activities and excursions in which all the family members can participate and enjoy?

May God encourage your heart as you seek to encourage those He has given to you to raise for His glory!

Written by George and Claudia V.

Sign Up for Email Updates

From Our library

Recent Posts