Incredible Healing from a Heart Transformation
Kristina experienced a heart condition known as atrial fibrillation, suffered from fibromyalgia for more than 15 years, and also experienced anxiety attacks, arthritis, and depression. The doctors had put her on more than twenty different drugs for a twelve-year span. Then she discovered the answers to her diseases.
I kept a silent tally sheet in my head of the times I had been wronged and I seldom forgave anyone. I consistently wrote people off who offended me.
My heart was full of frustration and anger, which left no room for peace. I really thought I was humble, but in reality pride was my biggest problem. I thought since I was nice to other people I deserved to be treated the same way in return. I had been harboring lots of poison inside me for so long that I didn’t even realize it was affecting everyone around me and beginning to take an enormous toll on my health.
My husband and I were married in 1989, two days after my nineteenth birthday. It was on our honeymoon that I came down with mononucleosis and suffered with it for 9 months. A few years later, in my early 20’s, I began having arthritis pain to the point where it was a struggle to walk when I woke up every morning.
I couldn’t sleep at night without drugs because of the pain and exhaustion. There were days I couldn’t even get out of bed. After months of suffering and doctors’ visits, they diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, which is like arthritis of the muscles.
Doctors told me I was depressed and put me on antidepressants, sleeping pills, and pain medicine, which only masked the problem. I suffered with fibromyalgia for over 14 years. The root of the problem was never dealt with, only covered up with medication. I began taking vitamins, which helped to a point but never completely resolved my problem.
In the spring of 2001 I began suffering with anxiety, so my doctor put me on more medication. In 2002, at the age of 31, I had what registered as a heart attack on the EKG and was put under the care of a cardiologist and given heart medications. In 2005 I began to have severe tremors. After MRIs, CAT scans, and doctor visits, I was told that I could possibly have the early onset of Parkinson’s disease and was put on a light dose of tremor medicine.
I cried myself to sleep at night because I was concerned about how much my family and I would have to suffer in the years to come. After my diagnosis, I attempted to go off the medicine many times, but the shaking was so bad that I’d only last a few hours before needing to take a little larger dose.
The doctors told me that I’d been born with extra electrical trands in my heart and diagnosed me with atrial fibrillation. My cardiologist put me on more heart medications to keep my heart slowed down and in proper rhythm. I had been on heart medication for years, but even with the medication, I’ve had many palpitations and close calls.
Ten Years of Depression
Along with all these physical struggles, I also suffered with depression and anxiety off and on for about 10 years. I felt overwhelmed and anxious and even got to the point where I believed the doctors, who were telling me the only thing that could help me was antidepressants. I would go on one medication for a while and then it would no longer work so they would try another medication. I must have been on more than 10 different antidepressants, which never seemed to cure the problem.
Doctors had put me on more than 20 different drugs over a 12-year span to try to treat depression, fibromyalgia, anxiety, pain, tremors, and heart problems.
Searching for Deeper Answers
Over the years my husband lovingly asked me if some of my health problems could be caused by unconfessed sin or from my reactions to stress. Of course I was quite offended at this suggestion.
I had graduated from a Bible College but came to the point where I rarely even carried my Bible with me to church. I was a bitter, unforgiving, and unsubmissive wife who thought that everything was my husband’s fault. I was such an envious person that it deeply pained me when other people were recognized for achievements that I believe I should have been acknowledged for instead.
In the spring of 2009 our pastor began preaching on the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5. The Holy Spirit began convicting me of areas that I needed to change in my life, and I actually began to listen. As I read the verses in Matthew 5 my eyes began to open to the fact that I was not poor in spirit or meek but rather very proud. I didn’t really hunger and thirst for God’s Word and righteousness. I couldn’t deny the fact that I did not have any inner peace and joy, which had been missing for years.
At the same time our pastor was preaching on the Sermon on the Mount, my husband and I attended the Nashville Regional Conference, where my husband convinced me that we needed to purchase the book, How to Resolve Seven Deadly Stresses. Honestly, I didn’t think that the book would apply to me at all, but after all the preaching in the Conference sessions my heart must have been softened. This book is totally based on God’s Word and Jesus’ teachings from the Sermon on the Mount.
I didn’t think it would hurt for me to skim over some of the information so that I could honestly say that none of it applied to me. As I read, I learned how a person’s thoughts, attitudes, and actions are directly affected by the belief system of our hearts.
I began to see how God created our body, soul, and spirit to all be connected. I began to realize that it has been medically proven that unconfessed sin and dealing with stresses in our lives in the wrong way can have a direct effect on our health.
Seven Deadly StressesI have to admit that at first I was very skeptical about the claim that some health problems could be caused by dealing with stress unbiblically. I began learning about the seven deadly stresses, which were taught in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: anger, guilt, lust, bitterness, greed, fear, and envy.
After soaking in a few chapters of the book, the truths of God’s Word began piercing my heart. I realized that my heart problems could possibly be related to my silent anger issues and that my fibromyalgia could be because I struggled with horrible envy. My tremors could be caused by the tremendous load of guilt I carried for never dealing with conflicts and sin in my life the way that God intended me to. The depression I had experienced could possibly be caused by all of my unresolved issues that were stealing my joy and peace.
I was finally faced with the reality that I was a really “messed up” beggar that had no business thinking so highly of myself! I realized all of the areas in which I needed to make changes in my life and got down on my knees and was broken before the holy God of the universe. First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
The Importance of Humility
I had been saved since the age of four, grown up in church, but I came under the realization that I rarely humbled myself to ask for forgiveness from anyone. I was so wrapped up in myself and concentrated on protection and distancing myself from people who might hurt me. I believed so many of the Devil’s lies!
After humbling myself and asking God to forgive me for the things I needed to take care of, I then went to others in my life that I had issues with or that I may have offended.
I forgave my offenders even if they’d never asked for forgiveness. I asked my children to forgive me for all the times I was not the Godly example I should’ve been. My husband and I had been married for 20 years at the time, and I had not been the wife that God wanted me to be. I was strongwilled, stubborn, selfish, prideful, and unforgiving.
Satan’s lies had told me that I was the “humble” one and that my husband was the person who was full of pride. I know without a doubt that our marriage probably wouldn’t have made it another 20 years because of my poisonous bitterness.
The tremendous guilt I was bearing from all of my wrong thoughts, attitudes, and actions over the years had taken a toll on my body and I believe that in my case, that was what had caused my tremors.
I also know without a doubt that the guilt I was carrying from rarely confessing sin was causing my depression and anxiety. The heavy weight of guilt I had from knowingly disobeying God caused the chemicals in my brain to be depleted, and that’s why I was depressed.
In amazement I also realized that I had gone for days with no pain or exhaustion and I was able to sleep all night with no drugs. I know that because I struggled with envy, it was affecting my musculoskeletal system and causing my fibromyalgia.
I also had no desire to play over in my mind the scenes of the past where someone had hurt my feelings. I forgave others, and being forgiven by God and others allowed me to be freed from the prison I was locked in for decades! I threw out the poisonous baggage that was deterring me from carrying out God’s full plan for my life.
The Heart Connection
Although I no longer needed most of the medicine I had been taking, I continued taking my heart medications (even though the palpitations were fewer). I wanted to discern if my heart problems were due to unresolved conflicts in my life. I realized that whenever I’d get hurt or angry about something that someone else said or did to me, my heart would go out of rhythm.
God also convicted me of my unbiblical response to a very painful event that had taken place two years earlier just before I was admitted to the Critical Care Unit. I harbored bitterness over a situation in which someone had clearly wronged me.
All of the inner anger I felt during that situation was what had caused my heart arrhythmia and threatened my life. A few weeks later I realized I wasn’t having any palpitations, so I went off my heart medication. The ironic thing is that during my last appointment with my cardiologist before I confessed my sin, we were discussing risky heart surgery to fix my atrial fibrillation. Now, on a very rare occasion if I feel palpitations coming on, I know in my case God is showing me that I need to deal with my anger Biblically and confess it.
Years of Freedom
The very real pain and exhaustion from the fibromyalgia, that I had suffered with for over 14 years, is gone! The tremors I suffered with for 4 years were real, and now are gone! The heart arrhythmia and palpitations I had suffered with for most of my adult life are gone! I no longer am plagued by depression, and my heart is overflowing with the joy of the Lord.
God Transformed My Heart
I didn’t actually pray to God for healing; I prayed for forgiveness of my bitterness, envy, and anger, and God transformed my heart and absolutely radically altered my life!!!