A Hebrew wedding was an elaborate affair that emphasized the centrality of the marriage covenant in ancient Israel. Many of the pictures portraying the marriage between Christ and His Bride, such as Psalm 45, the Book of the Song of Solomon, and the marriage supper of the Lamb in Revelation 19, are drawn from the imagery of a Hebrew wedding.

Because the ideal marriage of Christ and His Bride are so central to our understanding of covenant marriage, it is helpful for Christians to understand and appreciate the customs and significance of the Hebrew wedding.

The Dowry

In Biblical times, a prospective husband paid a dowry to the family of the bride. A negotiator called “the friend of the bridegroom” (John 3:29) often made the arrangements with the family of the bride. This practice is illustrated in the example of Abraham’s servant who negotiated with the family of Rebekah in Genesis 24. Depending upon the status of the bride or groom, either large sums of money or gifts of lands, cattle, or camels would be exchanged. The dowry was considered an investment in the future.

The Betrothal

Biblical betrothal was more binding than the modern custom of engagement. Very specific expectations were involved during betrothal. For example, a man who was betrothed to a woman was not to go to war but instead was exempted from service in the militia (see Deuteronomy 20:7). A betrothed woman was to remain pure; if she were found guilty of immorality with another man, then both she and the offender were subject to the death penalty (see Deuteronomy 22:23–24). Betrothal, just like marriage, could only be broken by death or divorce (see Deuteronomy 22:24).

The Preparation

A bridegroom spent the time of the betrothal preparing a home for his bride. Jesus even alluded to Himself as the Bridegroom when He told the disciples that He was going to “prepare a place for you” (John 14:3). The Hebrew bride prepared her wedding garments, just as the Bride of Christ will have “made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7) for the marriage supper of the Lamb.

The Wedding

The bride was dressed in ornate garments that she would wear only on this special occasion in her life (see Ezekiel 16:11–12). The groom also was bedecked with jewels and arrayed sometimes with his weapons of war (see Isaiah 61:10, Psalm 45:3). The bridegroom journeyed from the home he had prepared for his betrothed and, accompanied by the friend of the bridegroom, he would come and claim his bride.

The bride, accompanied by her maidens, would meet her beloved. She would wear a veil that covered her face. As the two met each other, the groom would gently remove the veil and place it upon his own shoulder. Then the groom and bride traveled together in a grand procession to the prepared home where an elaborate feast was spread and waiting (see Song of Solomon 2:4). The marriage was consummated by physical union, and the guests would invoke the blessing of God upon the newly married husband and wife.

When we, as believers, understand these customs of Biblical marriage, it helps us appreciate more the love our eternal Bridegroom demonstrates to us in bringing us to Himself. Like the brides of ancient Israel, our daily longing should be for the day that we will be united with our Bridegroom. Until then, we should be carefully keeping ourselves pure so that we can meet His coming with joy!