Covenant Marriage

God has adorned this world with lovely flowers of every shape, size, and color. They testify of the Creator’s love for beauty. A Godly marriage, testifying of the union between Christ and His bride, is a beautiful thing to behold. Flowers not only look good, but they smell good too! Like a fragrant rose, a Christian marriage that reflects Christ’s love should give off the perfume of holiness and attract others to the Lord Jesus.

In a perfect world, free from sin, we would not have to handle the difficult topic of divorce. But we live in a world cursed by man’s disobedience and rebellion. In the Garden of Eden where God instituted marriage, it was established as a covenant between a man and a woman for life. Many, many years later, when answering a question regarding divorce, the Lord Jesus stated very clearly that “from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8).

The enduring love of a strong marriage is the committed love that the Bible describes as ἀγάπη (agape) love. This is the love that is translated as “charity” in I Corinthians 13. Agape love is a covenant love that keeps on loving in spite of changing circumstances. It is a mature love, a love that is made stronger by the storms of life, a love that endures the test of time, and a love that is purified and refined by the passage of decades.

How active can and should parents be in the selection and pursuit of a spouse for their children? This perplexing question has given rise to much controversy and misunderstanding among Christians. One of the chief difficulties in answering this question is that the Bible does not mandate a universal rule in the matter.

Valentinus was a very common name in the days of the Roman Empire. The root of that name comes from valens, meaning “strong, powerful.” Another word with the same root is valor. The name was so common that there are actually several men named “Valentine.” Their stories and legends were intermingled to form the tradition behind Saint Valentine the person or Valentine’s Day that remains to this day.

In his epistle, James specifically wrote about giving actual physical assistance to widows and orphans. It is not enough to care for them or to feel sorry for them. In the same context, James asked believers, “If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?” (James 2:15–16).

For a married couple, effectual and fervent prayer is one of the greatest gifts that a husband and wife can give to each other. The Bible highlights the united prayer of a husband and wife and the importance of covenant marriage as it relates to prayer in I Peter 3:7. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Even before you know what particular needs your future spouse will have, it is important to pray that the all-knowing Lord will prepare you to meet those needs. Long before Ruth met Boaz in the fields around Bethlehem, the Lord was already equipping Boaz with the skills, temperament, and character qualities that would make him a suitable match for Ruth. Likewise, God is now building into you the virtues that you will need to be a help meet for your spouse.

In ancient Israel, all these preparations were complicated by a very pertinent fact: The exact day and time of the bridegroom’s arrival was unknown, even to the bride herself! So, she needed not only to prepare for his arrival; she also had to live in a state of constant readiness for the day that her bridegroom would come to call her to himself.

What are some ways that widows and widowers can redeem the time as singles again, rather than spending the remaining years of life longing for death and reunion with a lost loved one? The Bible reveals many practical ways that widows can be useful to the Lord and to the people of God.

Many couples have found that the marriage years slip past with increasing and alarming rapidity. Oftentimes, young couples on their honeymoon assume that they will have an entire lifetime to spend in each other’s company. But the realities of life soon crowd in. Career and home pressures consume time and attention. Friends and family make their demands upon a couple’s time. Even church events, as good and edifying as they might be, can encroach upon valuable time that a couple might spend together.

The dawn of a new year is an excellent time to remember the importance of time and to consider how we ought to redeem it in the coming days. It has been wisely stated that “life is what happens while you are waiting for life to begin.” When young people hold the attitude that life doesn’t really start until marriage, they will live in constant discontentment, longing for the next stage of life.

The bride, accompanied by her maidens, would meet her beloved. She would wear a veil that covered her face. As the two met each other, the groom would gently remove the veil and place it upon his own shoulder. Then the groom and bride traveled together in a grand procession to the prepared home where an elaborate feast was spread and waiting (Song of Solomon 2:4).

Widows and orphans often have no earthly defender to plead for them before the courts of law. As a result, widows were often abused and neglected in the ancient world, particularly among civilizations such as the Egyptian and Sumerian empires. The Lord made a specific, written requirement that the judges of Israel must take special care not to oppress a widow.

Only a spirit of humble, mutual submission will bring harmony to a home. Submission goes against our natural human nature. The Apostle Peter, who was himself a married man, described this mutual submission in his first epistle. The loving submission of a husband to his wife and the honoring submission of a wife to her husband are both based upon their submission to God and the example of Christ’s submission to His Father.

“Can I be content with singleness and yet desire marriage at the same time?” or “Does one exclude the other?” God’s Word never contradicts itself. Thus, if God calls His children to contentment and simultaneously encourages His children to pursue good things, then there is no contradiction. We can apply this truth to other areas of life and then draw a few conclusions about anticipation for marriage.

Four hundred years ago, an aging couple in their fifties left behind all that they had known and loved to journey to the rocky, untamed wilderness of North America. William and Mary Brewster, in spite of their advancing ages, were among the brave Pilgrims that boarded the Mayflower to sail to the New World. Unlike most Pilgrims, William Brewster had a family heritage among the landed gentry of England. He had been educated at Cambridge University and held the public office of Postmaster while living in his manor house in Scrooby.

The Bible shines a spotlight on a royal wedding in Psalm 45. It is thought that perhaps this psalm was written as a celebration of the wedding of King Solomon. But the psalm rises far above any earthly wedding. The Messianic implications of this psalm are not merely the suppositions of Bible scholars. The Word of God, in Hebrews 1:8, verifies that this royal wedding psalm was written concerning the Son of God.

There are some clear Biblical indications that, although marriage as an institution is limited to life here on earth, even temporal marriages have an eternal impact. This precious truth can be a comfort to those who have lost their partner through death and are now awaiting the joyous day of reunion in a world of endless bliss and joy in the presence of our eternal Bridegroom.

The gift of God to Adam was not merely someone to “meet his needs”—whether physical, emotional, or even spiritual needs. While Eve did meet many of Adam’s needs in all of these complex ways, it is God alone Who can satisfy the ultimate need of a man. Our modern world likes abbreviations and quick slang expressions. But we serve a God Who has chosen to speak to us in precise verbal expressions. To eliminate or abbreviate His chosen words leaves us with an incomplete, abbreviated idea of the wonderful reality that God intended marriage to be.