Covenant Marriage

When a young man or woman is contemplating marriage, it is easy to fall into one of two errors. Some young people focus upon Scripture passages that emphasize seeking, praying, searching, and anticipating marriage. However, in doing so excessively, they become restless, anxious, and frustrated. Other young people, equally sincere, emphasize passages that teach trusting God and waiting patiently for marriage to the extent that they become complacent, spiritually lazy, and neglect important opportunities that God graciously provides.

When we read the Bible, we should remember that we are hearing the voice of our Beloved One! We should read it with the same delight, the same attention, and the same care that a bride would eagerly read a letter from her husband. We also, as the Bride of Christ, have an open avenue of communication with our Beloved. As He speaks to us in His Word, so we speak to Him in prayer. In a strong, loving marriage, a wife shares her struggles, her fears, her concerns, and her needs with her husband.

To share your last bit of food with a stranger would be a difficult decision. Yet, the widow mentioned in I Kings chapter 17 was asked to make that sacrifice! She gave her last bit of flour to make flatbread for a roughly clad prophet who had emerged from the wilderness and made this request of her. By this act of selfless hospitality, the unnamed widow who lived in the Phoenician village of Zarephath served a cause greater than herself.

To “vaunt yourself” is to boast that you are better than you truly are. Genuine covenant love is humble, does not boast, and does not claim to be what it is not. Pride is one of the quickest and most devastating poisons that kill the sweetness and harmony of a marriage. In fact, pride is one of the three major sins that the Apostle John warned against in I John 2:16: “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”

A Christian wedding is a great opportunity to testify to the goodness of our God in creating marriage and as a humble, but powerful witness to wholesome Biblical values. A radiant bride, clad in dazzling white, and a stalwart groom, upright in his convictions, who have reserved themselves physically for the day of their wedding are together a dynamic testimony for the Lord Jesus Christ.

The couple moved into a large former monastery called “The Black Cloister,” a wedding present from the Duke of Saxony. Luther admitted that he had been sleeping on a “mildewed bed” and eating very poorly before his “Katie” arrived to organize the home. Martin Luther and Katharina lived happily together for twenty-one years, and raised six children—three sons and three daughters. From their example, married clergy gained a new pattern for their marriages.

How did Christ actually love the Church? The final phrase of Ephesians 5:25 highlights the tremendous responsibility that each Christian husband assumes when he marries his bride: “and gave himself for it.” Christ did not merely love the Church with a romantic feeling. He did not merely love the Church by giving her affection, flowers, gifts, support, a listening ear, a generous hand, a warm heart, or a beautiful ring. He gave her Himself.

As the months of autumn approach, the showy bulb flowers of spring and summer begin to fade away, leaving dry spears and brown stems after the petals have dropped off and fallen to the ground. Scripture refers to the fading of flowers on numerous occasions to remind us of the transient nature of life on earth. When a believing spouse dies, there is a striking connection with the fading of a bulb flower. The remaining spouse can take special comfort in remembering what is truly happening, as given in Jesus’ teaching about when a flower withers and fades.

We must guard ourselves and be aware of the difference between being zealous in a righteous way versus our zeal devolving into selfish envy. In marriage, becoming envious and jealous is easy. For example, a husband can envy the wives of other men. A wife may experience envy when she thinks to herself, “If only my husband loved me like that man loves his wife!” Even husbands and wives can become envious together regarding the possessions or social status of another couple.

Has God left us without guidance in this matter of physical interaction with a potential mate? Are we free to do whatever we feel like doing or what we think is appropriate? Is an individual’s conscience to be his guide? As every honest person knows, conscience can lead us astray. Our emotional feelings can also lead us where we ought not go. Is there anything that can reliably guide us in this matter of physical contact before marriage?

Under the persecution of Emperor Valerian in the third century A.D., two beautiful Christian girls, named Rufina and Secunda, were engaged to be married to honorable young Roman noblemen. The girls anticipated the day of their wedding with great joy. But upon the resumption of persecution, the two young men renounced Christ and returned to worshipping the pagan gods of Rome in order to save their lives. The two sisters nobly refused to renounce their faith.

Jesus mentioned divorce specifically on two different occasions. The first was in the Sermon on the Mount, while discussing adultery and violations of the seventh commandment. The second occasion was when He was specifically asked about divorce, as recorded in Matthew 19:3–12; the parallel passage describes the same conversation which is recorded in Mark 10:2–12. In both accounts, the same Greek word is used to describe divorce.

As recipients of God’s love, we have all tasted His kindness. Is it not right that we graciously extend that same kindness to others? How much more ought we to be kind to our spouse! Far too many wives and husbands may claim to love their spouses, but they are not always kind to them on a daily basis.

It is traditional in conservative Christian circles that a young man seek out the blessing of the father of the girl before pursuing her hand in courtship. Is this merely a tradition? Is it an outdated formalism leftover from the Victorian age? Is it a legalistic requirement invented by pharisaical moralists? Or is there perhaps some real Biblical value in seeking and receiving the blessing of the father?

Charles Haddon Spurgeon has been widely regarded as the “Prince of Preachers.” His sermons are loved and revered all around the world. He is probably quoted more often than any other preacher in Church history. However, relatively few are familiar with the remarkable marriage that Charles Spurgeon enjoyed with his beloved wife, Susannah. Susannah and Spurgeon first met when he came to London to preach at New Park Street Chapel. Susannah’s family was well established in the city, and she was certainly a “city girl.” By contrast, Spurgeon was regarded as a country preacher. His strong Essex accent and his old-fashioned style suit made Susannah smile when she first saw him and heard him preach.

God has adorned this world with lovely flowers of every shape, size, and color. They testify of the Creator’s love for beauty. A Godly marriage, testifying of the union between Christ and His bride, is a beautiful thing to behold. Flowers not only look good, but they smell good too! Like a fragrant rose, a Christian marriage that reflects Christ’s love should give off the perfume of holiness and attract others to the Lord Jesus.

In a perfect world, free from sin, we would not have to handle the difficult topic of divorce. But we live in a world cursed by man’s disobedience and rebellion. In the Garden of Eden where God instituted marriage, it was established as a covenant between a man and a woman for life. Many, many years later, when answering a question regarding divorce, the Lord Jesus stated very clearly that “from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8).

The enduring love of a strong marriage is the committed love that the Bible describes as ἀγάπη (agape) love. This is the love that is translated as “charity” in I Corinthians 13. Agape love is a covenant love that keeps on loving in spite of changing circumstances. It is a mature love, a love that is made stronger by the storms of life, a love that endures the test of time, and a love that is purified and refined by the passage of decades.

How active can and should parents be in the selection and pursuit of a spouse for their children? This perplexing question has given rise to much controversy and misunderstanding among Christians. One of the chief difficulties in answering this question is that the Bible does not mandate a universal rule in the matter.

Valentinus was a very common name in the days of the Roman Empire. The root of that name comes from valens, meaning “strong, powerful.” Another word with the same root is valor. The name was so common that there are actually several men named “Valentine.” Their stories and legends were intermingled to form the tradition behind Saint Valentine the person or Valentine’s Day that remains to this day.