Covenant Marriage

What is the most important quality to find in a potential husband? Some look for confidence in leadership. Others want a man with independence and financial stability. Still others are waiting for a young gentleman with a handsome face, strong body, and a willingness to work hard. All of these things are good, but the most important quality of all is that a young man is teachable.

Solomon said of the springtime, “The time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land." Throughout the Bible, just as the Lord points to the ant to teach diligence, the coney to teach trust, and the lion to teach courage, on several occasions He also points to the birds to teach lessons of faithful marriage and loving parenthood. Let’s consider a few noteworthy examples.

In the biography of the prophet Elijah is found the record of a widow in the Phoenician village of Zarephath. The Lord used this woman in an important way to shelter His prophet during a time of drought and danger. There are several vital lessons that widows today can learn from her life and testimony.

When prophecies fail, love remains. When tongues cease, love remains. When knowledge fades, love remains. Paul was not speaking ill of any of these other things! But he elevated love—true Biblical love, covenant love—as higher and greater than all because it “never faileth.”

Many young men foolishly seek a young woman who has the will to, as some might say, “stand on her own feet” and “assert her own opinions.” The poor lad often realizes too late that he has married a lass who has cultivated attitudes of stubbornness, selfishness, and rebellion. Thus, she is often unwilling to practice the discipline of Biblical submission.

One of the great American patriot heroes of 1776 was Henry Knox. In the early days of that important year, he led a bold expedition to bring heavy artillery from Fort Ticonderoga in northern New York to relieve the siege of Boston, Massachusetts.

Water, living water, is a picture of life, purity, nourishment, and joy throughout the Scriptures. When God made the world, He filled it and beautified it with springs, creeks, rivers, and lakes. Is it not fitting that the Lord Himself draws important analogies between the purity of marriage and the blessings of water?

In the Book of Proverbs, we are warned over and over again about the lurking dangers of the “strange woman.” Only by recognizing her wiles can a Godly man seek to guard his heart and protect his marriage. This topic is especially for the benefit of men who are married but who may be a target of a strange woman.

Endurance enables us to keep on abiding, even when we are underneath the crushing weight of troubles that life may bring. In the context of marriage, endurance is that quality that allows the marriage to stand strong “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.”

Couples who plan a honeymoon thoughtfully and wisely will be able to look back on those early days together with fond memories. The honeymoon is the set-aside time when physical intimacy can be cultivated, mutual trust can be built, and patterns of love, companionship, and respect are formed. This important foundation can then be strengthened and nurtured in days to come. Truly, if carefully planned, a honeymoon can last a lifetime!

Today, whenever a bride selects her wedding dress, these considerations from Scripture regarding the symbolism in the ceremony and the bridal attire should be carefully thought through. For a Christian couple, the choices made in their marriage ceremony and attire will reflect their desire to glorify God, honor marriage, and portray the radiant purity and value of Christ’s love for His Bride and His Bride’s love for Him.

We have previously considered some of the devastating spiritual and emotional consequences of divorce, not only upon the divorced couple themselves but also upon their children and grandchildren. Sin wrecks everything it touches, and unfaithfulness to the marriage covenant reaps natural, as well as spiritual, consequences. One of the overlooked consequences of divorce can be seen in its devastating financial effects upon a family.

The fourteenth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “hopeth all things” (verse 7). Hope is one of those Christian virtues that is often overlooked in the context of marriage. Many books have been written on the topics of faith, love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. But hope is one of the keys to a bright and victorious marriage. What is hope? No need to wonder what hope is as God has given His own definition of hope in His Holy Word.

The exchange of vows is the most important part of a wedding. Take away the rings, and you still have a marriage. Take away the flowers, candles, decorations, and music, and you still have a marriage. Take away the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, the flower girls, and the ring bearer, and you still have a marriage. But if you take away the vows, you do not have a marriage at all. Whether the couple uses the traditional vows from The Book of Common Prayer or vows that they have written themselves for the occasion, the exchange of vows is what binds a marriage in the sight of God.

One of the great tragedies of divorce is that its consequences have devastating effects upon the next generation. In modern America, about 36 percent of marriages end in divorce. These tragic numbers do not take into account the number of children who grow up in homes where their parents are never married. Sadly, many children do not even know who their father is! Statistics have demonstrated, with varying degrees of alarm, that the children of divorced parents are much more likely to have serious problems in their own marriages. Why does divorce have such a strong multigenerational tendency? What are the underlying causes of this chain of causation? Can the pattern be broken?

The thirteenth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “believeth all things.” Any couple who has been married for a while knows that trust is at the heart of any healthy and faithful marriage. If a couple does not fully trust one another, their marriage will be plagued with doubt, misunderstandings, and suspicion. The Greek word used here by Paul for “believeth” is πιστεύω (pisteuo). This very same word is used throughout the New Testament to express saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. This particular word is not used only for intellectual assent. Other words are available for that kind of intellectual knowledge. Rather, this word pisteuo is a theologically rich term that expresses complete and committed trust.

During the period of preparation for marriage, many engaged couples may be reluctant to seek out and receive advice on matters of wedding planning. This reluctance is understandable on several levels. After all, it is their wedding! It is the one day of their lives when a day can be planned around celebrating the most special union under heaven. But in the midst of all this planning and preparation, how easy it is to lose sight of the bigger picture. Couples absorbed in planning the details of their special day often tend to overlook valuable suggestions and advice that others might have to give. These couples would be wise to heed Proverbs 20:5, “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

It has become traditional across many cultures to exchange wedding rings as a tangible token of covenant love. Rings are easily and readily characterized only as a symbol of “eternal love” since they are in the shape of a circle. While this aspect of the significance of the ring is important, there is much more to consider. The rich symbolism of wedding bands is deeper and fuller than this one aspect.

A new phenomenon is becoming all too common across the landscape of Christian marriages. For good reason, this phenomenon has been called gray divorce. This term was unknown two decades ago. Coined in 2004, it has increasingly been used to describe divorce between (gray-haired) couples who are over fifty years old and have been married for decades. However, their bonds of marriage are broken at the very time that these parents should be providing an example of stability and faithfulness for their children and grandchildren.

The twelfth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “beareth all things.” This is one of the simplest yet weightiest phrases in this marvelous passage on covenant love. What did Paul mean when he said that love bears all things? On the surface, this English word seems to be synonymous with “endureth.” Many people who quote this verse mistakenly assume that to “bear all things” means that a husband or wife needs to learn to “bear” or “put up with” any sort of circumstance. But Paul addressed that idea later when he wrote in the same verse that love “endureth all things.” The “bearing all things” is something entirely different from “putting up with” something!