One of the great tragedies of divorce is that its consequences have devastating effects upon the next generation. In modern America, about 36 percent of marriages end in divorce. These tragic numbers do not take into account the number of children who grow up in homes where their parents are never married. Sadly, many children do not even know who their father is!

By God’s grace, many of these children will accept Christ as their Savior and be welcomed into a loving Christian community of believers. Thank God for the thousands of children who have found peace and joy in foster care, in adoption, or in a stable new home when a mother or father remarries.

But we cannot ignore the sobering fact that divorce leads to lasting scars. Even in the best of situations, there are consequences that time and circumstance cannot erase. Statistics have demonstrated, with varying degrees of alarm, that the children of divorced parents are much more likely to have serious problems in their own marriages.

Why does divorce have such a strong multigenerational tendency? What are the underlying causes of this chain of causation? Can the pattern be broken?

The Biblical principal of multigenerational sins

The Bible gives strong evidence of the danger of multigenerational sin. According to Exodus 20:5 in the context of idolatry, “I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.” Abraham had a sinful propensity to lie about his wife to save his own life. His son, Isaac, did the exact same thing! 

In another example recorded in Scripture, Jacob took two concubines. His eldest son, Reuben, committed incest with his own father’s concubine! Parents are often grieved to see their own children following their sinful habits.

The natural results of following patterns

In many cases, these multigenerational habits are the natural consequence of what we see. Young children who hear or see their parents angry and arguing grow up with the assumption that this behavior is a natural and normal part of marriage. So, it should be no surprise that these children follow the same pattern. 

A lack of stability in a divided home deprives a child of a solid foundation upon which to build his own marriage. When children do not see a good example of how to resolve conflicts in a loving and Biblical fashion, they are left with no spiritual tools to resolve their own conflicts. Thus, they follow the same path of ruin that they saw in their own youth.

The transforming power of the Holy Spirit to overcome sinful tendencies

No situation is hopeless. Boys and girls are not “destined” by a blind fate to repeat the sins of their parents. The Bible gives clear and abundant hope that the power of the Holy Spirit can overcome the tendencies and weaknesses of our upbringing. 
One of the brightest promises of this transformational work is found in Isaiah 55:13, “Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” This promise is found in the same chapter that extends to the sinful soul the promise that our God will “abundantly pardon” (verse 7). Our Lord not only pardons, He is also able to restore. Where natural consequences would bring forth a thorny briar, God gives a fragrant myrtle tree instead!