During the period of preparation for marriage, many engaged couples may be reluctant to seek out and receive advice on matters of wedding planning. This reluctance is understandable on several levels. After all, it is their wedding! It is the one day of their lives when a day can be planned around celebrating the most special union under heaven. Details such as the wedding dress, the food served at the reception, the bridal party, the decorations, and the music grab attention and demand careful thought.
But in the midst of all this planning and preparation, how easy it is to lose sight of the bigger picture. Couples absorbed in planning the details of their special day often tend to overlook valuable suggestions and advice that others might have to give. These couples would be wise to heed Proverbs 20:5, “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Although some people are more than eager to give unsolicited advice, the best and most valuable advice is the kind that is not readily given. A young couple would do well to seek out wise counsel from those best qualified to give it.
Let’s look at some considerations about the value of receiving advice during wedding preparation.
Others have greater experience
By the very nature of a Biblical wedding, it is usually a once-in-a-lifetime event. Most young people have never experienced being a bride and groom before! This is a good thing. But it is also a reason to pause and humbly acknowledge inexperience. Others have done this before! They may have some wisdom to impart. A wise bride will seek out counsel from other Godly women to learn what mistakes to avoid and how to make wise decisions for God’s glory. Likewise, a bridegroom who is eager to learn from his elders will establish patterns of gaining wisdom that will be a great benefit in the long run.
Parents have a special role in wedding planning
One of the best sources of wisdom is an obvious one often neglected—the parents. In most traditional wedding invitations, it is actually the parents of the bride who are extending the invitation to the wedding. In fact, the parents’ names are at the top of the letterhead! As such, as the ones giving their blessing on the union of this couple and asking others to come celebrate this joyous occasion, should they not have a significant part in the event planning? It is very sad and can deeply hurt a mother or father when an eager son or daughter brushes aside their parents’ counsel in pursuit of personal satisfaction.
Patterns are established for the future
During the days of preparation for a wedding, patterns are laid down that will shape the future. If a young couple foolishly ignores wise counsel and pursues their own ideas and desires, it will be harder to break this habit later. On the other hand, when a groom and bride diligently seek out the “deep water” of sound advice and valuable counsel as mentioned earlier in Proverbs 20:5, they become accustomed to the search for wisdom. When they later face difficult choices, financial questions, career changes, and child-rearing challenges and responsibilities, it will be so valuable to have established a habit of seeking and following wise counsel from others who have wisdom regarding these matters.
