The ninth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “thinketh no evil.” What does it mean in the context of marriage and covenant love to “thinketh no evil”? There are plenty of places in the Bible that speak of the danger of immoral thoughts, lustful desires, and impure imaginations. But this is not the kind of evil thinking that Paul was speaking about in this text.

The Greek word rendered here “thinketh” is λογίζομαι (logizomai). This word is an accounting term that literally means “to reckon” or “to account.” For example, a banker probably, at the end of the day, reckons his account books. A diligent storekeeper takes account of his inventory to make sure that his records all match the actual sales. A prudent farmer “reckons up” how many bags of seed he might need for the land that he has cleared of timber. A wise rancher will ride out and take an account of his cattle on the range immediately following a severely cold night or a devastating storm.

In this passage in I Corinthians, Paul testified that genuine covenant love does not “take account” of wrongs. Other translations variously render this phrase by saying that love “keeps no record of wrongs,” or that love “is not resentful,” or even more literally, that love “does not take into account a wrong suffered.”

Here are some ways that we can avoid “thinking evil” in our own marriages:

Love does not impute evil motives to a spouse

It is so easy for us as sinners to impute wrong motives to others where there really are none. For example, a husband might compliment another woman in the presence of his wife, and his wife may think that because he complimented another, he must be dissatisfied with her. Or, similarly, a wife could express a desire to shop at an exclusive, expensive store, and her husband may assume that she is being extravagant or dissatisfied with his earnings. Either way, in the former, the husband may only be trying to be polite, and in the latter, the wife may be planning a special present for him! Our own sinful selves can lead us to suspect wrong motives of our spouses.

We must be very careful that we do not assume the worst about those who love us most! We should never think evil of a spouse, or any friend for that matter, who has our best interests at heart.

Love does not count offenses

Another way that we can wrongly “account evil” is to keep a list of wrongs that we have suffered over the years. This fact is true, even in marriage. Husbands or wives can be guilty of keeping a long, mental list of offenses and wrongs they have endured. Then, when a fresh offense occurs, the tendency is to review past offenses and remind the wrongdoer of all the times he or she has “done the exact same thing” in the past.

May God give us the grace to not think evil of others by keeping a mental ledger or accounting of their offenses. A vital verse for anyone entering marriage or already in a marriage is Psalm 119:165, “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (emphasis added).

Love does not calculate revenge

Among other ways that perhaps could be mentioned, we can also think evil of others by calculating revenge against a wife or husband. One of the translations for the word λογίζομαι (logizomai) is “to calculate.” Part of our fallen human nature desires to plot and scheme revenge against those who have wronged us. But covenant love does not think evil of others and thereby does not keep a calculation of how to “get even” with a wife or husband.

Periodically, every husband and every wife should examine their hearts. Check to make sure that there is no hint of a vengeful spirit within you. In your daily time with the Lord in the Word and in prayer, ask God to reveal to you such a sin, and repent and forsake such fruitless accounting!