Life is filled with unchangeable circumstances, situations, and events that are entirely beyond our control. God in His goodness has designed life this way. If we were in control of every aspect of our lives, surely we would make a wreck of things very quickly!

For a young person considering marriage, the foundations of future contentment are laid in one’s present contentment. Every young man or woman should ask themselves this vitally important question, “Am I content with my present circumstances?”

If the answer to this question is “Yes,” a very strong probability exists that the passage from single to married will be a smooth and easy one. Contentment now with your parents, your siblings, and your surroundings will transition smoothly to contentment with your spouse, your in-laws, and with your children.

But if the answer to this question is “No,” it very possibly will be difficult to be content anywhere in any situation. If you struggle with contentment, a worthwhile exercise would be to name the things that you cannot change and learn to thank God for the unchangeable circumstances that He has placed in your life. Learning gratefulness is a vital step in growing in maturity and contentment.

What are some things that you cannot change? Certainly you can list some circumstances that can and ought to be changed. For example, if you dislike the color of the paint on your walls, you can repaint them. If you don’t like living in a cluttered room, you can clean it up.

However, there are many things that are entirely beyond your control. Those items you can thank God for and learn to live with them.

What about the matters you cannot change? You cannot change the day of your birth or who your parents are. In spite of the gender confusion that abounds in our modern society, you cannot change that God designed you to be a male or a female. You cannot change your basic physical features or the color of your skin. You cannot change your birth order. You also share a common destiny with every other person on the planet, as all of us are headed one day for the grave.

So, how should we handle these unchangeables? Just grin and bear it? Such an attitude would lead to a meaningless existence of mere stoic fortitude in accepting the blind dictates of fate. No!

We serve a God Who has designed us for an eternal purpose. According to the Bible, “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Does this verse extend to our unchangeable circumstances? Absolutely, it does!

Christian young people should not only endure, but gratefully accept the things they cannot change, knowing that these circumstances come from the hand of a loving, all-knowing God. True contentment will mature to gratefulness as each of us realizes more and more of God’s eternal purpose.

What does contentment have to do with marriage? Young people who are grateful for their parents can also be grateful for in-laws! Young people who have thanked God for their own physical defects will be able to be content with a spouse with physical limitations, or especially if God allows their children to be born with a defect.

Thankful contentment now in singleness will yield to learning contentment in more challenging situations later. This valuable attitude of heart and mind will be necessary for a strong foundation for a marriage that can and will endure the storms of life.