Most people usually think of New Year’s resolutions in a very personal and individual sense. Resolutions to exercise more, to lose weight, or to spend more time reading are all examples of common aspirations for a new year. Even resolutions with a spiritual focus are often personal in nature, such as the desire to spend more time in prayer or to read through the Bible in a year. While these intended goals are certainly important and valuable, perhaps the end of a year is also a good time to consider what resolutions you and your spouse can make together.

When was the last time that you had a list of New Year’s resolutions specifically devoted to improving your marriage? Consider taking time this week with your spouse to discuss a few important resolutions that you could agree upon together as needing improvement in the new year ahead. The following are some ideas you might discuss.

Resolve to pray together every day.

Personal, private prayer is vital for any Christian. But married couples have an additional obligation to seek God’s face together. According to I Peter 3:7, husbands and wives are reminded that they are “heirs together of the grace of life” and are encouraged to join together in united prayer.

Husbands, can you make a commitment with your wife that you will pray with her and for her every day? If your work requires you to travel, what better way can there be to stay connected across the miles than to come together daily before the throne of grace? Wives, will you make it a priority to make time to pray with your husband? If you are in the middle of a task, when he is available to pray with you, will you stop and join him in prayer?

Resolve never to let the sun go down upon an offense.

No matter the state of your relationship, decide now that you will never go to bed angry with your spouse again. According to Ephesians 4:26, we are exhorted to “let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”

Have you allowed offenses from one day to spill over into the next day? Break that sinful pattern now! You can do so by releasing bitterness, granting forgiveness, and purposing that from now on, all offenses and disagreements between you and your spouse will be resolved before you go to sleep at night. How much sweeter to sleep with a clear conscience, and especially at peace with your loved one! What a delight to awaken to know that God’s “mercies are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22–23)!

Resolve to give thanks for your spouse every day.

Another fruitful resolution would be to decide that you will intentionally look for at least one item, character quality, or matter to praise your spouse for each and every day. Having a grateful, positive attitude toward your spouse that looks for the good within him or her is so vitally healthy for any marriage. We are commanded in Scripture that in every thing to give thanks; surely, we can and must give thanks daily for our spouse as a great blessing God has bestowed upon us.

Resolve together to look for good in others.

Husbands and wives can easily get into the habit of criticizing friends and extended family in private. It is so easy to murmur and complain about others, and especially to share your negative thoughts with your wife or husband. However, this negative spirit of criticism can have devastating effects upon your children and the health of your own home.

Beware of this judgmental attitude. Ask God to examine your heart, to remind you to think before you speak, and to help you see others as He sees them. Doing so will remind you to not share unkind thoughts about another which could influence your spouse in thinking evil of someone else also.

Resolve that in this new year, by God’s grace, you will seek the good of others in conversation and in action. Determine that you will compliment and encourage rather than complain and murmur to or about them. You can truly have a “happy new year” if you will seek the good of your neighbor.