Institute in Basic Life Principles

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What are evidences of self-rejection?

Evidences of Self-Rejection
recognize your need to accept God’s design

All of us have unchangeable features that make us unique individuals. When these differences are pointed out, especially in insensitive or even malicious ways, the resulting concerns may cause varying degrees of self-rejection. Individuals who demonstrate the following traits may struggle with the issue of self-rejection.

  • Inability to Trust God

    If a person rejects God’s design for his physical appearance, he probably will have difficulty putting confidence in the Designer’s plan for other areas of his life.

  • Excessive Shyness

    Fear of rejection by others motivates us to avoid the risk of interaction with others.

  • Difficulty in Loving Others

    “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 19:19). If we cannot accept our design and love ourselves in the right way, we will have difficulty loving others.

  • Self-Criticism

    Complaints about unchangeable physical features, abilities, parentage, and social heritage are indications of self-rejection.

  • Wishful Comparison With Others

    Desiring to be different in areas that cannot be changed is a clear evidence of self-rejection. “ … Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?” (Romans 9:20).

  • Over-Attention on Clothes

    Undue concern for clothes may be an attempt to cover up or compensate for physical features that are perceived as “bad.”

  • Floating Bitterness

    Many people have said, “I hate myself!” They may be referring to their words or actions in the past, or they may be referring to their whole being. In the latter case, their final hatred will be directed toward the One Who made them.

  • Perfectionism

    It is healthy to want to do our best, but when the time expended outweighs the value of the accomplishment, it is an indication of self-rejection—condemning your best as “never good enough.”

  • Attitudes of Superiority

    A person with an attitude of superiority actually feels inferior but is trying to narrow his field of comparison.

  • Awkward Attempts to Hide Unchangeable Defects

    Actions and statements that reveal an attitude of self-consciousness may indicate self-rejection. However, we can trust God to transform our weaknesses: “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (II Corinthians 12:9).

  • Extravagance

    Lavish spending on expensive items may be an attempt to gain admiration and acceptance from others.

  • Wrong Priorities

    Self-rejection may be reflected in a neglect of God-given responsibilities in order to spend much time in pursuit of that which could bring acclaim from others.

Dealing with self-rejection requires turning to God, thanking Him for how He made you, and understanding the reality of who you are in Christ. To conquer self-rejection, begin by meditating on the truth of Scripture and what God says about you. Personalize verses such as I Peter 1:23, Ephesians 1:6, Philippians 1:6, and Romans 8:1. As a result of accepting and believing Satan's lies, you may have yielded areas of your soul to his dominating influence; these areas need to be reclaimed. When old thoughts of rejection come back, they need to be taken captive to the obedience of Christ (see II Corinthians 10:5).

For Further Study



This article is talking about me. I am bible believing Christian saved for several years. I have always had a self esteem issues and problems with my appearance since grade 2. These feelings were magnified recently after the closest thing I had to a relationship ended with being dumped in a cruel and humiliating way.
I felt so discouraged, I felt foolish I was ashamed. When these mounting feelings of self- rejection grew I was tempted to think I wonder if God likes me? Does it make sense to pray? When I was having trouble with something my Mom said why don't you pray and even after all God has done for me and my knowledge of the word I was tempted to think...... why should I does he even care?

Reading this article made me realize if I don't address the issue it will scorch me like the plants described in the parable of the sower. I really love God and I don't want that to happen. Thanks for posting this was truly a blessing to read.


This article also is talking about me. Now I have a phrase to accurately describe what I feel everyday. After over 30 years of it, I feel it is ingrained. I doubt it will go away any time soon. And I've accepted this. I wish I was never born. Bottom line, I will welcome death when it comes

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