One of the common misunderstandings of the Biblical view of marriage is that the Bible places the woman in a position of one-way submission to the dictatorial will of a husband. This misunderstanding leads some, both inside and outside of conservative Christianity, to cast insults and harmful insinuations against anyone who affirms the Biblical truth—which is repeated often throughout Scripture—that a wife is placed by God in a position of humble submission to her husband.

What is missed or ignored by critics is that the mutual duties of husband and wife, bound by covenant marriage, is a covenant based upon mutual submission. The husband submits his will, his interests, his passions, and even his own body to his wife. This submission is expressed by the Biblical duty of love. The wife submits her will, her body, her desires, and her priorities to her husband. This submission is expressed by the Biblical duty of honor.

Only a spirit of humble, mutual submission will bring harmony to a home. An unsubmissive husband will destroy a marriage as surely as an unsubmissive wife can.

Submission goes against our natural human nature. The Apostle Peter, who was himself a married man, described this mutual submission in his first epistle. The loving submission of a husband to his wife and the honoring submission of a wife to her husband are both based upon their submission to God and the example of Christ’s submission to His Father.

The Submission of Christ

In I Peter 2, the Apostle Peter discussed in detail the important subject of Christian submission. First, he addressed the need for proper submission to the governing authority in the state: “Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake” (verse 13). Second, he addressed the need for submission in the world of business relationships: “Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward” (verse 18).

In this context, Peter presented as our supreme example the submission of our Lord Jesus. “For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps” (I Peter 2:21).

The Submission of the Wife to the Husband

Following the example of Christ, Peter called for wives to submit to their husbands. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands” (I Peter 3:1). Peter uses the word likewise for a reason. Like what? Like Christ! As Christ was submissive, so you also are to be submissive.

The Submission of the Husband to the Wife

But Peter did not place the husbands in a position of autocratic rule! “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (I Peter 3:7). Clearly, Peter used the same word likewise to call husbands to a spirit of Christ-like submission.

If there is any doubt about the universal need for submission even among believers, Peter admonished in the last chapter of his epistle, “Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble” (I Peter 5:5).