We have considered the importance of contentment in the context of preparation for marriage. Contentment now lays the foundation for contentment later in life. A young man or woman who is impatient to get married will find it difficult to be content throughout the rest of life.
This discussion about contentment surely raises an important question in some minds: “Does contentment preclude me from actively seeking a wife or husband?” Other questions one may ponder include “Can I be content with singleness and yet desire marriage at the same time?” or “Does one exclude the other?”
God’s Word never contradicts itself. Thus, if God calls His children to contentment and simultaneously encourages His children to pursue good things, then there is no contradiction. We can apply this truth to other areas of life and then draw a few conclusions about anticipation for marriage.
A man with a steady job that provides a very small income is not doomed to that low income forever. Whenever he is discontent, anxious, frustrated, and angry in his current situation, he is walking in disobedience and may never find a way out of his frustrations. But if that same man learns contentment, gives thanks for his current employment, and looks for new opportunities even while being faithful in his present employment, God may very well provide a better job that will bring in more income for his family.
A statesman who has advanced to a position of trust and influence as a sheriff or a town councilman is not wrong to seek higher office when the opportunity for advancement comes. A military officer who is content with his current rank and pay should welcome a promotion when it is earned by faithful and contented devotion to duty. It is not wrong to seek advancement as long as there is contentment with the present situation.
So it is also for a young person in the state of singleness. To seek a spouse is not wrong. The Bible says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). “Finding” a wife implies that there is first seeking. The blessing and favor of the Lord in this text is placed upon a young man who seeks and finds “a good thing” in a Godly spouse.
A young man or woman who has learned contentment in their current state of singleness does well to patiently and carefully seek a spouse. Contentment is not the same as complacency. Patience is not the same as apathy. Boaz certainly took active steps in the pursuit of Ruth as a bride, and Ruth likewise took active steps in making herself available and willing to marry Boaz.
Proverbs 31:10 poses the challenge, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” She is worth the search! She is a treasure to obtain! Young men who have learned true contentment in the single state can and should pursue a Godly wife as God grants opportunity. Likewise, young ladies who are trusting God, waiting on His timing, and serving cheerfully in their families are free to build healthy relationships with young men that God brings into their lives.
