Many young people today live in a state of continued frustration while they delay in pursuing marriage until the “right one” comes along. Certainly, it is wise to exercise patience and to have high standards for a potential spouse. But what if the definition of the right one is a fallacious one?
It is a distinct shock to many young people to discover that the right one, as they would define the expression, simply does not exist! Some young people turn up their noses at Godly young men and women, hoping that a better option will come down the pathway of life. As a result, these singles wait forever!
Here are some factors to consider when seeking a spouse that fits God’s definition of the right one for you.
The right one will have plenty of character flaws
Whether you like it or not, your spouse will have a number of character qualities, both desirable ones as well as some serious ones. Marriage has a way of refining a man or a woman. Just as it would be wrong to expect silver ore to be free from impurities before going through the refinement process, in the same way it is wrong to expect a single person to be unblemished. God may very well use that right one’s rough edges to refine you, just as He also uses you to refine and purify the one He has designed for you. Don’t ignore the silver ore just because there is some aggravating gravel mixed in!
The right one will be immature
Growth in maturity is a process that is worked out over the course of a lifetime. Any prospective partner will be immature by definition. That person will not be finished developing in character yet. The right one will not yet be fully mature.
How many young men or women have said of a potential mate that he or she is “so immature!”? If the one with this critical spirit would look in the mirror, he or she would see another immature person. We all are immature until the Lord completes His gracious work in our lives. Honest young people will learn to expect immaturity in a potential spouse.
The right one will have physical defects
Many girls and boys have a mental image of a potential spouse. A girl may dream of a handsome, charming prince with tanned features and bulging muscles. A boy may long for a beautiful princess with a specific hair color, an unblemished face, sparkling eyes, and a perfect smile! But reality is different. The girl with the mole on her cheek may have inner qualities that outweigh any outward blemish. The boy that has a wart on his chin may have a humility and a sincerity that an imaginary Prince Charming might lack.
The right one will have some annoying personality traits
Many young people have neglected tremendous opportunities simply because of annoying personality traits in a potential mate. If we are so sensitive that we cannot take a few irritations now, imagine how miserable marriage can be! Endeavor to help correct those annoyances that are truly character flaws. Then, regarding some of the idiosyncrasies that make us all unique, learn to live with and even rejoice in them. You probably have some quirks too!
