One of the passages most commonly quoted at weddings is the charge given to the groom in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church.”

How did Christ actually love the Church? The final phrase of Ephesians 5:25 highlights the tremendous responsibility that each Christian husband assumes when he marries his bride: “and gave himself for it.” Christ did not merely love the Church with a romantic feeling. He did not merely love the Church by giving her affection, flowers, gifts, support, a listening ear, a generous hand, a warm heart, or a beautiful ring. He gave her Himself.

This striking truth is often lost in its very simplicity. Jesus gave Himself for His bride. The Greek phrase at the end of the verse encompasses four crucial words: ἑαυτὸν [“himself”], παρέδωκεν [“he gave”], ὑπὲρ [“for”], and αὐτῆς [“her”].

Himself ἑαυτὸν (eauton)

Himself is the word that in the Greek text is placed first for emphasis. It is one of the reflexive pronouns. Literally, the Scripture reads “Himself He gave.” The word order could be variable here, but the Apostle Paul carefully placed the most important word first. The most priceless thing that Christ could give to His bride was the simple but sacrificial gift of Himself.

Husbands, have you loved your wife as Christ loves the Church? Have you fully given yourself to your wife? Do you share with her what is in your heart and life, or do you keep things concealed from her? Your wife married you—not your job, title, possessions, or challenges. She wants to be an intimate part of your life; to do so, she needs to know that you as her husband are holding nothing back.

He Gave παρέδωκεν (paredoken)

The Greek tense used here is the timeless aorist. Jesus gave Himself in a timeless sense. He did not merely give Himself once. He gave, is giving, and will ever give Himself. His giving encompasses the very existence and life of His Church. We would not exist without this gift, and we daily depend upon the fact that, just as our Lord gave Himself for us in the past, He is still giving Himself for us today, as well as tomorrow and in the future.

Husbands, are you giving yourself to your wife on a daily basis? Flowers, gifts, or even the fanciest, most expensive jewelry can never compensate for the need to daily give yourself to her. Do you look forward to spending time with your wife and making her the priority over the pressing matters of life?

For ὑπὲρ (huper)

Entire books and scholarly articles have been written on the majesty of this Greek preposition in the context of our redemption. Christ gave Himself on behalf of, in place of, for the sake of, and on account of His bride. The substitutionary atonement purchased by the blood of Jesus knows no equivalent in world religion. Christ, and Christ alone, gave Himself on our behalf.

Husbands, if called upon, are you willing to die for your wife? Some husbands have a special opportunity to literally lay down their lives for their wives. However, all of us as husbands are called to be willing and ready every day to lay down our own interests for the advantage of our wives.

Her αὐτῆς (autes)

The gift of our Lord Jesus was personal and specific. He did not give Himself generically, as for the world with no specific object. No! He gave Himself for His bride that He loved. The Greek pronoun is singular and feminine. Christ gave Himself for her.

Husbands, you are not merely to be magnanimous in general terms, not merely kind and gentlemanly to everyone. Rather, you are required by the injunction of the Scripture and by the example of our Lord Jesus to give yourself daily and sacrificially for the sake of your own wife. At the wedding altar, you have been given a mandate, a duty, and the empowering example of Christ: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church.”