The third description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13:4 is “charity envieth not.” Envy is a powerful poison that can destroy even the best of marriages if it is not guarded against.
The Greek word here rendered “envieth” is ζηλόω (zelo). We derive our English word zeal from the same root word. Biblical zeal can be good or bad, depending on how our zeal is directed.
Be zealous for spiritual gifts
This same word is rendered in a positive way in several important passages of Scripture. In the very next chapter of I Corinthians, Paul wrote, “Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy”
(I Corinthians 14:1). The word desire in this verse is the very same Greek word. When we are “zealous” after spiritual gifts, our zeal is good.
Be zealous for a healthy marriage
We can be zealous for our marriage in a good way. A husband is rightly jealous over his wife when someone tries to steal his wife’s affection. Certainly, his jealousy should rightly be aroused! In the same vein, a wife is right to be jealous over her husband’s eyes as to what he sees. She should be alarmed when he is delighting in another woman. The Apostle Paul used the word ζηλόω (zelo) in II Corinthians 11:2, “For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”
Be zealous to repent
“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent” (Revelation 3:19). We should always be zealous to repent. This attitude is very important in marriage, where husbands and wives should never harbor grudges or offenses. We ought to always live with a humble spirit of eagerness to acknowledge and repent of wrongs.
Do not be zealous to obtain what others have
All of the previous examples are positive ways that we can exercise zeal. But in I Corinthians 13:4, Paul admonished that charity “envieth not.” Our zeal can be exercised in a harmful way in that our zeal becomes envy for what others possess. James wrote, “Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not” (James 4:2).
We must guard ourselves and be aware of the difference between being zealous in a righteous way versus our zeal devolving into selfish envy. In marriage, becoming envious and jealous is easy. For example, a husband can envy the wives of other men. A wife may experience envy when she thinks to herself, “If only my husband loved me like that man loves his wife!” Even husbands and wives can become envious together regarding the possessions or social status of another couple.
Both husbands and wives can also imagine—in a harmful, jealous way—motives and thoughts that are not there. Paul cautioned believers about vain imaginations and exhorted them to bring “into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (II Corinthians 10:5). How easy it is for a wife to imagine that her husband is flirting when he is merely being friendly. Similarly, a husband can imagine that his wife is being deceptive when she is merely being discreet. This jealousy is envy; these vain thoughts are the envy that can poison a marriage and leave deep scars upon any relationship.
In I Corinthians 13, we read that true covenant love is free from envy. This type of love is without expectation, without anger, without greed, without lust. Rather, true covenant love is pure and behaves with Godly desires.
