The tenth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “rejoiceth not in iniquity” (verse 6). Is this assertion true in your marriage? Many of us would admit that we rarely think about the full implications of rejoicing in iniquity.

The Greek word rendered in this verse as “iniquity” is ἀδικία (adikia). This word is drawn from the alpha negative (a-, “not”) and the root word (dikia, “righteousness”). To rejoice in iniquity is to rejoice in unrighteousness. True love never takes pleasure in anything that causes our Savior suffering. Let’s consider some of the ways we can avoid delighting in unedifying practices or habits.

Take care not to relish gossip

A Godly husband and wife who desire that their marriage be rooted and grounded in covenant love will never allow gossip to take root in their hearts. Just as a carefully tended garden can have one noxious weed take root and choke out good fruits or vegetables, in a similar way gossip can also destroy the sanctity of a home.

Even Christians who endeavor not to speak gossip sometimes enjoy listening to it. Gossip satisfies a natural and sinful desire to know secrets. Receiving gossip allows us to listen to stories without actually spreading them. But this is an awful trap! To listen to gossip is to participate in it. To avoid rejoicing in this evil, we would be wise to guard our ears and hearts as well as our lips. In order to do so, sometimes when a conversation begins to turn into gossip, we may need to either change the topic or leave the conversation.

Take care not to secretly rejoice in others’ failures

Often we find ourselves feeling good about ourselves when we hear about the failures in the lives of others. For example, a husband and wife who are struggling in their marriage can sometimes justify themselves or squelch the Holy Spirit’s conviction as they compare their marriage against other marriages having greater struggles. The couple may think, “Well, at least we are not divorced like so and so!” Or a husband might say to his wife, “Look, I have never committed actual physical adultery like that man has done!”

When we justify our own sin in contrast to others’ sins, we are rejoicing in iniquity. We are taking pleasure in the failures of others because it makes us look better by comparison. Rather than take pleasure in another’s failure, take a moment and pray for that one who is obviously hurting.

Take care not to speak ill of others in conversation

Another way to rejoice in iniquity is the damaging practice of criticizing or belittling others publicly. Sadly, this verbal disparagement is all too common in Christian homes.

Comments are often made in casual conversation that have unintended but devastating effects. How many fathers have criticized a pastor’s sermon on the way home from church? They may think that they are teaching their wives and children to be discerning, analytical, and wise. But in reality, they are giving their families the example of finding fault in others. The children will see and learn, and it is only a matter of time before a son or a daughter is criticizing and finding fault in what their father says or does.

Likewise, a wife can allow little critical comments about her husband to escape her lips. Perhaps in a phone call with a friend, an exasperated response at the supper table, or a whispered complaint under her breath, that belittling remark about her husband will take root. Children see, hear, and learn, even when we think they are not! A critical spirit that finds fault with others is a devastating way to rejoice in iniquity when we feel good about belittling others.

We would be wise to think before we speak. James 3:10 reminds us, “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” Choose to speak well of another! Ask God to reveal to you any hurt or offense in your heart and ask Him to renew a forgiving spirit in you so you may bless others.

May God help us all to never rejoice in iniquity, but to rejoice in the truth. Our marriages and our own personal walk with the Lord will be stronger as we seek to love as God outlined for us in I Corinthians 13.