One of the most hurtful lies about divorce is the oft-repeated suggestion that divorce will not affect our children. This falsehood is one of the lies perpetuated by the same serpent who said to Eve in the Garden of Eden, “Ye shall not surely die!” (Genesis 3:4).

Satan subtly plants in human hearts the deception that their sin will not have consequences. Parents considering divorce can delude themselves into believing that their children will not be hurt in the long run by divorce. “I will make sure they are still loved,” “I will be sure that they get financial support,” or “I will seek out some other adults to be mentors to them,” are some of the excuses that divorced parents might make to deny the reality of long-term damage suffered by children from the trauma of divorce.

Even the secular world has been forced to acknowledge the devastating effects that divorce has upon children. A study by the Institute of Family Studies found in May 2025 that statistics demonstrate a dramatic increase in crime, incarceration, drunkenness, drug usage, early mortality, and other woes among children of divorced parents. This should not surprise us at all.

Here are just a few ways of many that might be named that children are harmed by divorce:

Divorce robs children of having stability

For children, the stability of their home is the cornerstone of their world. A baby’s earliest conceptions of order, stability, and security are formed in the environment of the family. Where there is argument, discord, anger, strife, and then absence, a child grows up insecure and confused. This problem is magnified even more when the home is torn apart by divorce.

Divorce threatens a child’s inheritance

God designed inheritance to be one of the blessings that is passed from parents to children. Divorce threatens and often interrupts this multigenerational blessing of accumulated wealth. Many times a son or daughter of a divorced parent is surprised and disappointed to see a house or a piece of land pass to a stepmother or even stepsiblings after a divorce has been legally finalized.

Divorce builds generational patterns

Statistics show a tragic, yet common pattern occurs in the families of divorced parents. Sadly, children of divorced parents often have failed marriages themselves. Sometimes, three or more generations may be affected. It is as though the children of divorced parents often lose faith in the institution of marriage completely and, as a result, perpetuate a sad cycle of unfaithfulness.

Divorce affects a child’s view of God’s faithfulness

Saddest of all, the children of divorced parents are robbed of the beautiful picture of Christ’s love for His Bride. Parents do not often consider the spiritual consequences of their divorce. Many children turn away from the faith, disillusioned and disappointed by one or both of their parents’ unfaithfulness to their promises. How can they trust God’s promises if the promises of their parents mean nothing?

Thank God that there is no situation, however dark, that His grace cannot heal. The Lord can pour healing balm into wounded hearts. Many children of divorced parents find peace and comfort in the truth expressed by the psalmist in Psalm 27:10, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” But parents would do well to carefully consider the damaging consequences of divorce, realizing the weight of responsibility that they carry.