One family dynamic that is often completely forgotten or neglected during the crucial time of courtship and marriage preparation is the siblings! The siblings of both the prospective bride and the groom ought to be considered in the ceremony and the integration of the couple into new family interactions. Sure, the siblings are often asked to serve and be a part of the ceremony, such as bridesmaids and groomsmen, or they often eagerly volunteer to carry out tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, and decorating. However, brothers and sisters have many more contributions that they can give.

Wisdom is likened to a sibling in the Book of Proverbs. “Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words” (Proverbs 7:4–5). Solomon gave this counsel to a young man to treat wisdom as he might treat a helpful, loving sister. In the context of this verse, the wise sister can warn her brother of the dangers of the strange woman. A brother may be blind to the character flaws of the strange woman, but the wise sister can see through the mask and offer helpful counsel for safety. Here are some practical ways that sisters (and brothers too) can give helpful advice.

The way a young person interacts with his or her siblings is an indication of character

Aside from parents, no one knows the potential bride or groom better than the ones who have lived with that person on a daily basis for more than a decade! A wise young man or lady who is considering someone as a potential mate would do well to observe how the person interacts with his or her own siblings on a daily basis. Does a potential suitor belittle his sisters, or does he treat them with gentleness? Does a young lady contradict and argue with her brothers, or does she show them respect and deference? These indications of character ought to be observed and considered carefully. 

Siblings may have valuable advice to offer in courtship

In cases where other siblings already have gained experience in courtship and marriage, the one who is embarking upon that journey possibly may gain from them helpful understanding. What physical and emotional boundaries would the siblings suggest be put in place to uphold personal moral integrity? How might they advise you as to how you can honor parents in the process of courtship? What conversations do the brothers and sisters consider most helpful to have before engagement as opposed to after engagement? Such siblings can give advice on these matters and many more!

Siblings may have important insights into wedding planning

As the relationship moves beyond courtship to wedding preparation, the advice and counsel of siblings can again prove very valuable, especially if they are married! How wasteful to ask a married sibling to pick up the ceremony programs from the printer when she may have contributions about more important matters, such as placement of decorations for optimal pictures or seating arrangements in consideration of extended family or friends’ relationships. Sisters and brothers may have insightful input regarding guest lists, reception food variety, ushers, order of service, pictures, and many more details involved in the big day. 

Your wedding day is not only a day for the bride and groom. It is a day for all of your guests! Remember the wise admonition in Proverbs 11:14, “in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” Seeking wise counsel from siblings can lay a solid foundation for strong and healthy relationships between married siblings that can last a lifetime.