It is somewhat surprising that one of the greatest threats to a marriage can arise in the midst of public ministry to God’s people. Satan hates a Christian home, and the enemy of our souls will use any means he can to harm and destroy a marriage. It is a sad fact that many popular pastors and church leaders have lost their own families due to the pressures and temptations that come with the mantle of public leadership. Many marriages have been weakened, and some even destroyed.

The destruction of a marriage is not new. John the Apostle warned of the three great dangers that have the potential to draw a man from the love of God to the love of the world. “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world” (I John 2:15–16).

Let’s take a brief look at how each of these three areas of temptation can destroy the lives of God’s servants who are in ministry to His people.

The Lust of the Flesh

The lust of the flesh is one of the most damaging temptations that can wreck a man’s ministry as well as his marriage. All too often, ministry can pull a man away from his wife, and this may open the door for an estrangement from his own family. If not on his guard, he may become emotionally attached to a secretary, a musician, or even the wife or daughter of another man in the ministry or even in the congregation. 

The temptation may begin small, even within ministry activities. Nevertheless, these little compromising responses to the temptation are pointed out by the Holy Spirit and our consciences. Ignoring the Holy Spirit’s promptings and justifying his sinful thoughts and actions, a man often hides these emotional attachments from his wife. As the Bible attests and reality affirms, lust brings forth sin and then death. 

Likewise, wives and daughters can, intentionally or unintentionally, bring into question their own purity by desiring the attention of Godly men. Their words of admiration or affirmation, accentuated appearance, or teasing actions can spark temptation as they interact with other men. Every man of God and his wife should work together to set up careful safeguards so that their marriage and ministry together are preserved by walking in the light. Daughters would benefit greatly from instruction from parents to seek to delight God more than desire men’s approval and delight. Teach your daughters to memorize and meditate on Scriptures, such as Proverbs 4:23: “Keep thy [her] heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” 

The Lust of the Eyes

If they are not very careful, pastors and other servants of God can covet the possessions and financial status of others. Many ministers and their wives who live on very limited salaries often find it very difficult to resist covetousness. As a result of these desires, they sometimes spend what they do not have and suffer under credit card debt. The financial pressures of debt often bring stress and division to a marriage and family. How important it is to have eyes focused heavenward and not on earthly possessions!

Churches can do their part to ease financial pressures and short-circuit temptation in this area. One way is through periodic review to ensure that they are generously meeting the financial needs of the ministers that God has given them. 

The Pride of Life

Tragically, many servants of God have been brought down by a prideful spirit. The desire for wider recognition, fame, and reputation can lead a man to seek and pursue the favor of man above the favor of God. This temptation leads to men being distracted from their own wives and children by going out on the speaking circuit and rubbing shoulders with the influential. 

A child needs the leadership of his father, and a wife needs the companionship of her husband. Yet, when a man pursues his own reputation, often his wife and children are neglected. The records of Christian history are littered with the tragic examples of famous preachers who lost their own children because they were too busy serving God. In reality, this pursuit can become serving self instead of serving the Lord. This ought not be the case in the home of God’s servants! 

Be alert and beware of these dangerous areas of temptation. They are a constant danger and a threat to one’s marriage, family, ministry, and reputation. As a couple, ask the Lord to protect the husband facing daily battles and temptations. Pray and claim Psalm 18:32, “It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.”