Covenant Marriage

Many young people who are longing for marriage sometimes feel trapped by the icy bonds of winter. They long for the day that they fall in love, and on that day the sun will shine, the birds will sing, and the flowers will bloom once again. But in the good providence of our God, wintertime is just as important as springtime for the growth cycle of life.

On January 6, 1759, one of the most important marriages in colonial Virginia took place at a lovely plantation home situated on the Pamunkey River. A young, beautiful widow named Martha Custis was married to a distinguished officer who had seen service in the western frontiers, Colonel George Washington. At the time of their marriage, Martha was perhaps the more prominent of the two. Little did Colonel Washington and his bride realize at the time of their marriage that the groom would one day become the “Father of His Country”.

Have you ever considered the treasures of the snow applied to your marriage? It is not without accident that a traditional bridal dress is made of fabric that is as white as snow. Every snowfall should remind us to consider afresh the treasures of the snow and how we can best reflect the light of the Lord Jesus in the purity and radiance of our marriage.

After the busy, festive seasons of Thanksgiving and Christmas, many people find that January and February are lonely and gloomy months. Some call this time after the holidays are past the winter blues. The colder temperatures keep many indoors, and the early sunsets result in longer, dark evenings. Visiting extended family members who brought cheer and fellowship earlier in the winter have returned to their own homes. Loneliness sets in.

The eleventh description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “rejoiceth in the truth,” as opposed to the contrasting statement immediately given before—that charity “rejoiceth not in iniquity.” It is one matter to refrain from rejoicing in iniquity, but do you and your wife cultivate together a love that rejoices in the truth?

Many young people today live in a state of continued frustration while they delay in pursuing marriage until the “right one” comes along. Certainly, it is wise to exercise patience and to have high standards for a potential spouse. But what if the definition of the right one is a fallacious one?

When was the last time that you had a list of New Year’s resolutions specifically devoted to improving your marriage? Consider taking time this week with your spouse to discuss a few important resolutions that you could agree upon together as needing improvement in the new year ahead. The following are some ideas you might discuss.

The very season that gives “tidings of comfort and joy” for many can also be a time of deep sorrow for others. This joyful season can be difficult for someone who has recently lost a loved one to death or through the pain of divorce. Even a person who has suffered strained or broken relationships in a family feud most likely will feel magnified sorrow during this typical family-gathering time at Christmas. Empty chairs at the table, stockings missing from the hearth, and enhanced memories of bygone happy days can be extremely sorrowful for the bereaved and forsaken.

A Godly husband and wife who desire that their marriage be rooted and grounded in covenant love will never allow gossip to take root in their hearts. Just as a carefully tended garden can have one noxious weed take root and choke out good fruits or vegetables, in a similar way gossip can also destroy the sanctity of a home.

Between engagement and marriage, this time is crucial for any couple. Not only must the wedding plans be arranged, but it is during this important time that patterns for mutual prayer, successful communication, and proper conflict resolution are discussed and begin to be established. A willingness to make unselfish plans now will strengthen future relations with each other, as well as with in-laws, parents, siblings, and friends.

John Alden and Priscilla Mullins were both unmarried passengers aboard the Mayflower. History records that the two young people were married in what was the fourth wedding in Plymouth history. The two Pilgrims, brought together by Providence, resolved to build a new life in the New World. Together, John and Priscilla raised ten children, and their progeny today number more than one million living descendants.

The Thanksgiving holiday can be a stressful time for many families. It is a time of busy preparations. Extended family and friends often come to visit. Priorities must be balanced to meet everyone’s needs. Parents-in-law sometimes have to be accommodated at the expense of one’s own parents. Sometimes the reverse is also true.

There is no such thing as a “no fault” divorce. From Genesis to Revelation, the Word of God is very clear that divorce is displeasing to God. In fact, according to Matthew 19:8, Jesus taught regarding divorce that “from the beginning it was not so.” The idea of no-fault divorce arose in Europe in the late 18th century. A 1757 edict in Prussia allowed a marriage to be dissolved without proving the guilt of either spouse. The idea of neither party being at fault in the severing of a marriage slowly took root in other European countries over the next century.

The ninth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “thinketh no evil.” What does it mean in the context of marriage and covenant love to “thinketh no evil”? There are plenty of places in the Bible that speak of the danger of immoral thoughts, lustful desires, and impure imaginations. But this is not the kind of evil thinking that Paul was speaking about in this text.

Married people sometimes view their married state as “better” than singleness. Moreover, those who are unmarried can sometimes view their own condition as “more spiritual” than that of a married couple! These attitudes of self-exaltation ignore the truth that God has given each man or woman the appropriate “gift” in respect to marriage and singleness.

Some couples have two cords that are intact and strong. But the third cord may be frayed or worn thin. It is easy for a man and his wife to lose their close spiritual connection, especially as life gets busier. Although many couples start out guarding and maintaining their time to pray together, read Scripture together, and converse with one another about the Word of God, some distraction or seemingly more important, urgent matter may arise to dampen their devotional fervor or sidetrack their guard of their spiritually edifying times together.

For children, the stability of their home is the cornerstone of their world. A baby’s earliest conceptions of order, stability, and security are formed in the environment of the family. Where there is argument, discord, anger, strife, and then absence, a child grows up insecure and confused. This problem is magnified even more when the home is torn apart by divorce.

Does your wife or husband think of you as “touchy” or irritable? How about your children? Do they cringe or move away when you enter the room? Do they anticipate your displeasure at the smallest provocations? Tragically, these are the little things that spoil the harmony of a home, drive wedges between daughters and fathers, and build walls between fathers and sons.

Pride can be likened to a hidden virus that manifests itself with all sorts of ugly symptoms. Only when the root cause is discovered can the proper treatment be administered. Similarly, pride can mask itself in many ways, but an honest look at motives can reveal some basic truths. Let’s observe some of these assumptions that can lead to pridefulness.

In Biblical times, common gemstones included ruby, topaz, jasper, and amethyst. In our own day, diamonds have become the preeminent stone associated with marriage. What are some practical and valuable considerations that make diamonds a fitting symbol of the importance of covenant marriage?