Covenant Marriage

The ninth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13 is that charity “thinketh no evil.” What does it mean in the context of marriage and covenant love to “thinketh no evil”? There are plenty of places in the Bible that speak of the danger of immoral thoughts, lustful desires, and impure imaginations. But this is not the kind of evil thinking that Paul was speaking about in this text.

Married people sometimes view their married state as “better” than singleness. Moreover, those who are unmarried can sometimes view their own condition as “more spiritual” than that of a married couple! These attitudes of self-exaltation ignore the truth that God has given each man or woman the appropriate “gift” in respect to marriage and singleness.

Some couples have two cords that are intact and strong. But the third cord may be frayed or worn thin. It is easy for a man and his wife to lose their close spiritual connection, especially as life gets busier. Although many couples start out guarding and maintaining their time to pray together, read Scripture together, and converse with one another about the Word of God, some distraction or seemingly more important, urgent matter may arise to dampen their devotional fervor or sidetrack their guard of their spiritually edifying times together.

For children, the stability of their home is the cornerstone of their world. A baby’s earliest conceptions of order, stability, and security are formed in the environment of the family. Where there is argument, discord, anger, strife, and then absence, a child grows up insecure and confused. This problem is magnified even more when the home is torn apart by divorce.

Does your wife or husband think of you as “touchy” or irritable? How about your children? Do they cringe or move away when you enter the room? Do they anticipate your displeasure at the smallest provocations? Tragically, these are the little things that spoil the harmony of a home, drive wedges between daughters and fathers, and build walls between fathers and sons.

Pride can be likened to a hidden virus that manifests itself with all sorts of ugly symptoms. Only when the root cause is discovered can the proper treatment be administered. Similarly, pride can mask itself in many ways, but an honest look at motives can reveal some basic truths. Let’s observe some of these assumptions that can lead to pridefulness.

In Biblical times, common gemstones included ruby, topaz, jasper, and amethyst. In our own day, diamonds have become the preeminent stone associated with marriage. What are some practical and valuable considerations that make diamonds a fitting symbol of the importance of covenant marriage?

Satan hates the institution of marriage. As a picture of Christ and His Bride, the enemy of Christ despises anything that testifies of the Lord Jesus. Our enemy will use any leverage to destroy harmony in our marriages and drive a wedge between husbands and wives. What are some of his chief tactics to undermine and destroy a Christian marriage?

Have you ever lounged in an easy chair on a hot, humid day, hoping that your spouse will bring you a cool, refreshing beverage? We all have self-centered desires, even in the best of marriages. Godly love strives to give rather than striving to get. Christlike love looks for ways to serve rather than looking for ways to be served. True blessing comes in seeking the welfare of others.

Every bridegroom longs for the day when his bride will be with him. The time from engagement to the wedding are days of preparation, not only for the wedding itself but for life beyond! Many husbands can testify that one of the most exciting aspects of marriage anticipation was the joy of preparing a new home for their bride. From many valid options, some young men undertake the arduous but rewarding task of actually building a new home for the family they hope to establish. The young man is not merely preparing a house—he is preparing a home!

Marcus and Narcissa complemented each other well as a missionary couple. They not only ministered to the spiritual needs of the Cayuse people of eastern Washington, but they also helped the natives of the area learn how to farm the land and garden, how to build and operate a mill, and how to raise quality livestock. Narcissa helped the women learn valuable skills, such as sewing, cooking, and, most importantly, how to be a faithful mother to their children.

Offenses will arise in any marriage. Partly, the cause is due to the curse of sin. It is a delusion to imagine that any marriage can be free of offenses! As redeemed sinners, we cannot prevent offenses, but we can and must learn to solve them Biblically. Two key ingredients must both be present in order for a marriage to be restored to a place of unity: confession and forgiveness. Let’s look at each of these ingredients.

In his epistle to Timothy, the Apostle Paul laid out clear, practical guidelines as to discerning which widows were and which ones who were not to receive regular gifts of charity from their local church. It should be pointed out that exclusion from regular support in no way implied that other widows who did not meet the guidelines were unimportant. However, they had other means of support within their own abilities and within their own families.

One tragic pitfall that has ruined many a Christian marriage is when either spouse develops a close emotional bond with someone outside the marriage. Many Christian women have found a listening ear or a sympathetic heart in a pastor or teacher that they admire and trust. Similarly, many Christian men in a work or ministry environment have been attracted to a secretary or coworker who is cheerful, eager, and helpful. What often begins as an innocent emotional attachment can end in a miserable, broken marriage.

Like a contented sheep resting in the presence of the Good Shepherd, contentment is learned in assurance of the fact that God satisfies fully. For a single person longing for marriage, the assurance that God satisfies fully is hard to understand. But Paul was evidently not married, and yet he understood that he was fully complete in Christ.

The Apostle Paul identified the water as the Word of God. Here it is the ῥῆμα (rhema), the spoken and life-giving Word of the Lord that is in view. As vital as personal devotions are to the spiritual health of an individual, this passage clearly indicates that a husband and wife are to seek sanctification together in the living Word of God. Together as a couple, husbands and wives should pray, study, memorize, and commune under the cleansing power of God’s Word.

Previously, we considered several important widows of the Old Testament. As we turn the pages to the New Testament, several Godly widows are mentioned there also. Widows can take heart that God notices them, cares for them, and counts them among His choicest servants. Let’s look at two New Testament widows who loved God wholeheartedly and devoted their lives and resources to His service.

The fifth description of covenant love in I Corinthians 13:4 is charity “is not puffed up.” This follows immediately after the fourth description, which is “charity vaunteth not itself.” We have already looked in some detail at this phrase about being vaunted and the devastating effect that pride can have upon a marriage. What then? Is God repeating Himself by following one warning against pride with another warning? He certainly is! He does so for a good reason.

When a young man or woman is contemplating marriage, it is easy to fall into one of two errors. Some young people focus upon Scripture passages that emphasize seeking, praying, searching, and anticipating marriage. However, in doing so excessively, they become restless, anxious, and frustrated. Other young people, equally sincere, emphasize passages that teach trusting God and waiting patiently for marriage to the extent that they become complacent, spiritually lazy, and neglect important opportunities that God graciously provides.

When we read the Bible, we should remember that we are hearing the voice of our Beloved One! We should read it with the same delight, the same attention, and the same care that a bride would eagerly read a letter from her husband. We also, as the Bride of Christ, have an open avenue of communication with our Beloved. As He speaks to us in His Word, so we speak to Him in prayer. In a strong, loving marriage, a wife shares her struggles, her fears, her concerns, and her needs with her husband.